THE FAST TRACK HONG KONG RACING AWARDS FOR 2011

At the races on Wednesday, someone new to racing asked us where the practice of naming The Best Turned Out Horse started.

We had no idea. In fact, what they wanted to know was the relevance of this “award”.

Of course, we know there is little or no relevance to this today- and certainly not to this next generation of race-goer.

As with many things in life and in industries, someone starts something and no one wants to change it.

No one knows why or where, but like chimpanzees, it is cloned and is done without anyone saying, “Is this really NECESSARY?”

It’s like how a single HAD to be released before the album came out.

Why? For radio. For promo? For posterity. Because of lazy marketing and no one wishing to put their balls on the wicket.

Then, of course, came iTunes and blasted that practice and theory to bits.

As for horse racing, our friends continued with “Why could there not be an award for the Best Turned Out Jockey”?

Or Best Turned Out Trainer? Or Best Turned Out Owner?

Here’s a good choice below.

We thought about that for a while: Would this mean judging which jockey looked best in an owner’s silks and would then this be The Best Looking Silks?

Or could this be the total package- a kinda Fashions On The Field for Jockeys?

And which led us to this.

THE BEST TURNED OUT JOCKEYS AWARD

In Hong Kong, off the track, our award for Best Turned Out Jockey would go to three jockeys: Olivier Delouze, Gerard Mosse and Douglas Whyte.

Those French boys have that certain je ne sais quoi and can carry off wearing anything though in winter, they sort an elegant leather jacket look with designer jeans.

And, we hear, they smell magnifique.

Not that we care to smell them.

As for Douglas Whyte, he’s all baubles, bangles and chains.

Seldom have we seen anyone wearing so many jingle jangly wrist bands and rings.

How he goes through airport security remains a mystery.

Def Bastard, Phat Bastard and the Durban Demon.

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THE DONALD TRUMP MENTORING AWARD

Whyte, “The Durban Demon”, also gets our Mentor Of The Year Award.

When former Apprentice Keith ML Yeung was going off the rails and looked to be another talented young jokey heading for the backward pass, he was sent to Whyte.

We have no idea what he did to Yeung- probably a clip around the ear and kneed him in the nuts- but Yeung changed his errant ways, he became more focused, more disciplined, became one of the very few apprentices used by John Size- the other half of the great Whyte-Size partnership- and has become one of the more talented local jockeys in Hong Kong.

As for Whyte, quite suitably, when he next rides the aptly-named Mentor, follow him.

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THE COMEBACK KID AWARD

On the subject of talented young local jockeys, Matthew Chadwick must lead the pack along with Derek Leung.

Leung is more low-key, but we have always rated this lad.

He can ride and we wish he can be associated with a really good horse.

Chadwick, meanwhile, is associated with the very good California Memory.

Despite two pretty average rides- and we’re being kind by using that word-the owners of the horse and trainer of California Memory have stayed loyal to Chadwick.

He has paid them back in spades.

Taking out the Group 1 Hong Kong Cup has to be the highlight of the jockey’s career to date and we see more highlights ahead.

If we hadn’t given our Mentor Of The Year Award to Douglas Whyte, we would have given it to trainer Tony Cruz.

Having started riding during those days when the combination of Bob Burns and Peter Miers “dominated” and “ran” Hong Kong racing and when riding here were names like Leon Fox, Glyn Pretty, Geoff Lane and lest we forget, the immortal Louis KY Ho who actually stopped riding the hot pot called How Good, “Cruz Control” has seen it all and is a tough task master.

He’s ridden all over the world and for every great horse owner- including the Queen.

The knowledge and advice he imparts on Matthew Chadwick is priceless.

We wonder if he’s taught young Matthew the expression, “Puta, man, what the fuck were you doing, man?”

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THE BLACK SHEEP OF THE FAMILY AWARD

OWNER: JOHN YUEN

For continuing to race his brilliant former Champion galloper Good Ba Ba into the ground in Macau instead of sticking to his word and retiring this grand old horse.

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THE SMURFS AWARD

THE MINIATURE STAGE AT HAPPY VALLEY RACECOURSE

Was this designed to accommodate jockeys- really tiny jockeys?

It’s barely big enough to fit Jasper Donat, Bassist from Uranus.

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THE SONNY AND CHER AWARD

ABLE ONE AND JEFF LLOYD

The horse is nine years old, the jockey is 50 and both gave the youngsters a spanking by taking out the 2011 Cathay Pacific Hong Kong Mile.

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THE HAPPY WEDNESDAY “I’M AN OKKER” AWARD

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQ4WT-Id_dQ

SYDNEY JOCKEY NEIL PAINE AND HIS FLEETING HAPPY WEDNESDAY APPEARANCE.

With 656 YouTube views, it has more views than any other HKJC video.

Says nothing about taste.

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THE DANCING QUEEN AND “HAVE YOU HEARD THIS ONE?” AWARD?

CASPAR FOWNES

He sings, he dances, he trains horses, he trains winners, he’s a 100% good bloke and he can impersonate anyone.

Ask him to do the one where HKJC CEO Winfried Engelbrecht-Bresges is speaking to trainer David Ferraris.

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Okay, now go out and have a Merry Christmas and shake those balls!

Races on Tuesday.

Our tip for Race 10: 1-2/