EXCEPT FOR ROBERT DOWNEY JR, ACTORS (AND ACTRESSES) PUHLEEZE DON’T SING!
- The FastTracker
- Jul 8, 2014
- 3 min read
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiuzFNtki60
Being a celebrity- even a pseudo one- has its rewards. It’s kinda like owning a Platinum Amex Card where flashing it opens doors once shut with there being a “I’m The King Of The World” feeling that anything is possible- and often is- especially if a reality TV, er, “star” when those 15 Minutes Of Fame can last years and be parlayed into being a brand- albeit an untalented one.
Paris Hilton is a singer?
In the case of Paris Hilton, then, one half of the series The Simple Life with Nicole Richie, it led to the heiress who became famous for a leaked sex tape- aren’t they all “leaked”?- having a recording contract with Warner Music.
If a talented, unsigned artist struggling to make ends meet by writing songs that matter to you, and seeing someone like Ms Hilton releasing records- and, worse yet, having them become hits- it must be unbearable and real slit-your-wrists stuff.
Kim Kardashian might start singing?
While there are always threats of Kim Kardashian warbling, mercifully, until now, she’s only ridden on the back of that huge bore Kanye West’s motorbike in one of his video while making mewing sounds in his first video for his recently released Yeezus-complex record.
Actors who should just shut up and not sing
Of course, actors and actresses making records has been going on for almost ever as part of musicals, but over the years, there have been those pure marketing gimmicks to, especially, promote television series, which once saw- and heard- two Star Trekkers go to a land far far away where they should never ever had gone: The recording studio.
Before these daft recordings, two television doctors- Dr Kildare and Dr Ben Casey- were fighting for ratings which meant Richard Chamberlain and Vince Edward releasing records.
Dr Ben’s warbling effort- he of the incredibly wolfman-like hairy arms fame- was DOA though Dr Kildare managed to even have a number one, at least in Hong Kong.
A few years later, television detective Kojak aka Actor Telly Savalas took the David Gates-written If and turned it into something almost quasi-Shakespearean that embarrassed many, but, according to chart success, melted hearts and a middle-aged bald guy became the Beatles for some horny American housewives.
Some of the more obscure recording artists who really should stick to their day gigs have included Steven Segal- a hammy actor and even hammier wannabe Blues man- Russell Crowe, an often brilliant actor who continues to make turgid music with his band- and Johnny Depp, who, rather tragically, has received rave reviews for his shambolic onstage appearances as his hero Keith Richard.
Guys, please stop. It’s shock-to-the-system stuff.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=utF2w7Zl6kE
Keanu Reeve mercifully disbanded his band Dogstar though Juliette Lewis, after being dumped by then-boyfriend Brad Pitt, created her own kinda Cape Fear by giving up her career as a very good actress to become a full-time very bad rocker chick.
And now who and what?
These days, the music world is constantly under threat of new music by Lindsay Lohan, after, apparently, a ten-year break- she’s made records?- whereas Actor Robert Pattison can, at least, play guitar and sing.
On a more positive note, Gwyneth Paltrow can sing- really- whereas Robert Downey Jr brought out a very good record a few years ago.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fb_blTYY6sM
What might make Ms Paltrow’s warbling career insecure, however, is the news that ex-husband Chris Martin is planning to write and record songs for new girlfriend Alexa Chung, who has never recorded before.
Well, like owning a Platinum Card, guess these are the perks of going out with the singer from Coldplay?
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