BITING INTO MICHAEL WONG’S HAMMY AND CHEESY MUSIC VIDEO

Sure, Michael Wong is not exactly known for this acting abilities where the word “wooden” would be a compliment, whereas, as a singer, despite, one guesses, an attempt to be seen as some kinda Michael Buble, the end result is somewhere between hammy and cheesy. Or both.

When The Wongster’s acting and singing world’s collide, what you have is this latest video- a veritable buffet of various assortments of ham and cheese that begs the question, Why? What? How? And, again, Why?

Watching this video, we see The Wongster trying to be George Michael Wong circa 1990, and filmed dancing against what looks like the curtain from a Parisienne bordello at the turn of the century plus some B roll footage of The Wongster, a qualified pilot, in his plane, apparently trying to rescue- or bang- a vampy damsel in distress who doesn’t seem to know what to do with her mouth.

Should she pout? Should she smile? Should she bite her lower lip until it bleeds? Should she lick her lips as if having inhaled some ham and cheese?

Anyway, it’s all meant to be kinda like a James Bond action movie, but is more of a kitschy homage to the lifestyle of that other ageing Hong Kong Lothario, Cecil Chao, the old bloke who tried to pay suitors to straighten out his extremely intelligent and attractive Gay Pride lesbian daughter.

The Wongster really should have had Cecil Chao in this video. And Jackie Chan, and Richard Li and Terri Holliday and that other old fool-Rafael Hui- and his Shanghai babe mistress, pictured below.

Why go only half-way when it comes to producing tacky kitsch? Go the full throttle.

Holding this visual mosh pit together is a horrendous song called “Airway Of Love” with cringeworthy lyrics about “flying” and “airways to heaven” and every other corny reference to flights of fancy credited to Kelvin Avon, who arrived in Hong Kong over five years ago from the UK to revolutionise the Hong Kong musical product.

If this track is an example, then Kelvin Avon has thrown in the towel and taken the money and run- or flown the coop.

If nothing else, having his name associated with this prime piece of real estate in narcissism was incredibly brave of Kelvin Avon who is also credited with producing the track which sounds so dated, visions of Gino Vanelli Eighties funk and white guys with Big Hair feed your head like a bad acid trip.

But the worst trip of all is being taken for a ride in this video by The Wongster, which has, almost single-handedly, shown why the Hong Kong music scene is overrun by quasi-celebrities with rampant egos constantly massaged by those with s*** for brains who are so easily duped into accepting mediocrity as something special despite all this cream puff stuffing being wrapped inside a ham and cheese sandwich that’s heavy on the cheese and the ham- and nothing else.

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