AVRIL LAVIGNE FREAKS OUT IN WONDERLAND (BITCHBACK)
- The FastTracker
- Oct 16, 2011
- 2 min read
Oh, dear, reading this, it seems that Asia will have Avril Lavigne on our doorsteps again.
Reference: Thegloabeandmail.com
Yes, like every other pop star whose time is up, they all come to Asia for a few more minutes of fame and become big fish in this small pond that is often a cesspool.
Asians seem to take in anyone.
There is no Quality Control as in “Fuck off, you’re awful.”
Lee Dewyze, anyone?
The now man-band Blue?
All of those long line of failed “Idolers” touring the Philippines?
Or Denmark’s Michael Learns To Rock who even Danes cannot remember?
As for Avril Lavigne, it appears that though now 27 and trying to rise from the ashes like a skater-chick phoenix, she cannot.
She is Petra Pan and always must be 17 and singing derivative-sounding originals.
Yes, that’s an oxymoron.
I abhorred her “Girlfriend” as it brought back memories of the equally hideous Toni Basil hit, “Mickey.”
I cringed when she recorded the same song in around 15 different languages including Mandarin.
Guess this was an idea from her management, her (former) label or her.
Did she have some help on this?
Of course she did.
There’s one line which stands out like sound-alike dog’s balls.
Singing in Mandarin, as is singing in any other Asian language is patronising Vegas shtick.
Sure, learn a smattering of words and say things like “I love you” in Putonghua or Bahasa or Tagalog.
Show me a music executive who thinks this is the be-all and end-all and feeds crap like this to visiting International artists as being a “key strategy” and I’ll show you some old school music man trying to sound smart.
It’s not: It’s corny, it’s wanky, it’s lazy and it’s uncool.
What next for Avril Lavigne?
Probably a haircut, probably learning a few more chords, probably appearing as a judge on a television talent show.
As a recording and performing artist, she was and will always be an artist.
And she shouldn’t whine so fucking much to the media.
Plus are her songs really showing a “new mature side” to her personality?
She still cannot sing.
She SCREAMS – and is OUTTA TUNES.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZb8CnUzUOc
She made her bed of teenage angst-riddled lyrical hits and she’ll just have to keep playing them forever.
Her fans have outgrown her and which teen or tween today wants to buy into a 27-year-old skater-chick?
She’s part of that ever-growing pile for former female Pop Tarts – Skye Sweetnam, Stacey Orrico, Kelly Clarkson, Hillary Duff, more recently, Orianthi etc.
Remember the music company hype which greeted Orianthi’s solo album?
Wasn’t she going to be the “new Avril Lavigne”?
Or the “new Eddie Van Halen”?
And now what?
Avril Lavigne could actually be Christina Aguilera.
Nah, sorry, she cannot:
Aguilera could actually sing and “Beautiful” is one of the best Pop records made.
In Christina Aguilera, you have another lost teen soul- and scarily similar as far as their careers are going.
This is what many music companies do – especially to female artists: They suck you in when young and foolish and then spit you out when they see the wrinkles appearing.
It’s all about being Forever Young.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WB61wXKROtw
Comments